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I come from a country where ‘traditionally’, you get hounded about marriage once you get to a certain age. This ‘hounding’ is made worse if you’re a lady and as a lady myself, I can totally relate. Traveling back to my home country a few summers ago exposed me to a lot of said ‘hounding’ from my mum’s friends and acquaintances who kept asking when they would receive their invite to my wedding. I guess I expected it but it still did not stop me thinking “are you guys for real?” and “is that all you can think about?” amongst so many other questions that crossed my mind.

As a single Christian, all of these have got me wondering how we are supposed to cope with such ‘pressures’ that our society seems to place us under nowadays. First things first, let’s refresh our memories with what Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7: 33-35. He mentions that an unmarried man cares for things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord whilst a married man cares about how he may please his wife (same goes for the ladies). We all know there’s nothing wrong with getting married and Apostle Paul mentions in the same chapter that whoever marries does not sin, but we’ve got to be careful as single Christians not to get carried away with the tidal waves rocking the entire ‘singledom’. Everyone’s getting married, and I’m sure a number of us are left asking God when ’the time’ will be. Well, we don’t need to worry as He tells us in Matthew 6:31-34; we however need to be careful not to get fixated on marriage such that it leads to desperation.

I recently listened to a great woman of God preach on this topic, she made mention of a lady she once read about who was so desperate to get married that it became her ‘life’. This lady made a few pointers based on her own personal experience and I have listed them below,

- People consumed with the desire to be married usually become less and less attractive because the message is unconsciously transmitted through body language, facial expressions and the like

- When you begin to think of marriage as an essential, you make an idol of it and we know our God cannot tolerate any idol

- When you make marriage issues so paramount in your life, you become miserable, life becomes less enjoyable, your spiritual life also suffers

- You begin to compromise your standards (basically, anyone that comes your way would do), do things you usually wouldn’t do all because you have to have a man or woman to get married to

- You begin to have more lows than highs, not realising that what you want is in God not in a man or a woman

I don’t know about you but believe me I do not want to experience any of that. As singles, let’s not lose time of effective service for God. We all know there’s a time and a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3v1), we all know that God has thoughts of good toward us (Jeremiah 29v11); so we just basically, need to chill, enjoy God, and serve Him with all we’ve got (Luke 10:27). We need to have a mindset that what we are looking for is a relationship with God and meaningful relationships with those around us. We need to get true friends around us who can replenish us and help us fulfill our God ordained purpose in this life.

Now if you are going to move from such a fantastic single state to a married state, then the man or woman must have something unique to make you want to move. If he or she doesn’t have this ‘uniqueness’ then it’s not worth your while leaving your single state. If you’re going to have a good marriage you cannot afford to be hasty. Hey, it’s a lifetime for crying out loud so what’s the rush. Yes, sometimes we might feel lonely and all that; loneliness is natural, but we’ve got to remember that the most important thing is for God’s will to be done.

Focusing on God is really the ultimate for me, I believe there is so much of God to enjoy as a single Christian lady (or gentleman) and I’m all out for that. I’m all out for serving Him big time and in grand style. If and when this man does come, hey he better be unique ‘cos I ain’t leaving ’singledom’ for anything less than unique by the special grace of God. Amen!

 
Word of the day…

James 4:7&8 – Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands,you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.